1 | "BAE" - Just when I was beginning to get used to males pet-naming me the same thing as a very tiny, very cute pig, the "b" in "babe" has suddenly become redundant. And now it's all "my bae..." this "bae did" that... JUST NO. Linguistically, I think "b" is one of the easier letters to pronounce, so let's put an end to this lazy madness (that incidentally makes everyone sound like they are trying way too hard to sound like some sort of glamourised Ali G) and bring back the B. Props to my super cute bf here, who thought "bae" was still the shortened version of "Beyonce", and was uncharacteristically confused about why memes saying things like "Waiting for Bae to text back" were meant to be funny. They're not funny, just for the record.

2 | "Weight loss secret" - You kind of have to feel sorry for people like Vicky Pattison, who after dropping from a size 16 to a 6 over mere months (super healthily, and super impressively FYI), have constantly had the media on their back, threatening to expose their "weight loss secrets". It seems like everytime one of these celebrities eats a pot of Oatso Simple, is photographed doing a squat, or dons a pair of gym leggings, it becomes their newest "weight loss secret" that is exploited and splashed across newspapers and magazines in an attempt to inspire and motivate the public's own weight-loss efforts. I'm not going to bang on about it, as I already think I've made my reasoned, researched and proven opinions on fitness, health and nutrition clear, but there IS no finite "weight loss secret", "miracle cure" or "quick fix", Just eat better and move more. Simple.

3 | "Slips into" - The Daily Mail absolutely LOVE this turn of phrase "(insert celebrity) slips into slinky minidress for night out on the town", and frankly it's absolutely ridiculous. "Slips into" conjures up images of demurely sliding one's perfectly moisturised, babysoft leg into trousers made of feathers before elegantly leaving your home. Interrupt me if this is just me, but I honestly cannot remember the last time I "slipped into" any garment - infact most of my dressing sessions involve (pick one): breathing in, hoiking, belting, hooking, adjusting, taping, and more often than not writhing around on the floor. 

4 | "CRAY" - This is along the same lines as "bae", but this time the "z" in "crazy" has been made redundant, which I suppose I can sympathise slightly more with, as z is a bit of a difficult letter. That said, it would appear that people don't realise just how dumb it makes them sound to say things like "that bitch is cray". Leave it to Jay-Z, please. 

5 | "Turn down for what" - It says a lot that I'm a young blooded, magazine-reading, social media surfing 21-year-old, and I don't even know what this means. End of.

6 | "Conscious uncoupling" - When Gwynnie and Chris Martin decided to use this phrase to glamourise their divorce and make it seem like a mere natural, friendly, mutual, magical, soft, gentle, delicate end to a longterm marriage, most of the world vommed in disgust and hated Chris Martin even more (sorry, personal vendetta shining through). But seriously, for the love of god - what is wrong with just getting straight to the point: "WE'RE DIVORCING" ?!?! Brb, just going to consciously uncouple with the blanket currently around my shoulders.

7 | "...-porn" - E.g. "food-porn". Although this was mildly acceptable initially, its overuse and application to too many different words has lead to the burning questions: Who wants to associate porn with food for goodness' sake?! Who wants to associate porn with anything other than porn?!

8 | "#nofilter" - A popular one on Instagram, and basically a pretty person's way of saying "Oh em gee look at how sexy I am I don't even need to use Amaro to make me look better". I really don't care if you used a filter or not to achieve "selfie" perfection. By pointing this out, you just look like a bit of a vain idiot.

9 | "Sorry not sorry" - Admittedly, I actually use this one myself more than I should. But again, the 2014 evolution of "I don't care" begs the simple point: JUST SAY YOU AREN'T SORRY. 

10 | "Selfie" - Unfortunately selfies are here to stay, and I bet you use the word almost daily (I know I do). Despite that, giving a special word to taking a picture of yourself is still allowed to be annoying, it really is.

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If you have further suggestions to my list, please do not hesitate to vent your linguistic anger in the comments beneath. Until then, feel the wrath of this very unamused pug.